You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think your dad took our porno
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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