I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
