You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
