: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
