You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I got inside last night via doggy door
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
