I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
