Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
