You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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