yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
there is glitter all over my balls
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
