tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
