my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Come on in and take your pants off
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