I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
