i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
