your room smells of hookers.
And success
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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