i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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