ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
