remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize