You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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