3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
operation have a gay friend backfired
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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