K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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