I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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