Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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