I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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