I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
