last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
