I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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