I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
