What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
