Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
