What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
