I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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