There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
