Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
