4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
