its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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