i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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