Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
