i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
