I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
