why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
