So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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