Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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