I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
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She announced her abortion via fbk
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
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did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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