Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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