this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
