What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
