thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
