That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Boobs speak an international language.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
