My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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