She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
