omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
