I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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