do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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