Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
