if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
