so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
