this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
