Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
