if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
What a dumb baby whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize