I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
