yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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