margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
