Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
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I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
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we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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