either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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