But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
