I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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