just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
