Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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