took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize