you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize