The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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