I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
the day after is always just damage control
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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