Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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