After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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