what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
