I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
