Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
